Twentieth of January, Two Thousand and Two
Father, how do I persevere? How can I keep going when there are so many doubts? I am experiencing a trial and I’m sure it is part of your plan but I can’t help but feel frustrated and alone. I know who I am but I struggle to deflect the accusations of the proud.
I used to ask “How do I change one’s mind?”. Now I know that there isn’t a way, I cannot change someone’s mind. I cannot soften or harden their hearts as you do, you are in power- not me. So I ask you, as I try again: please soften their hearts and give me a chance. The scowls of judgement stare me down and I am afraid. I cannot erase those scowls, so please Father… erase them for me.
Just as there are many doubts in my mind; there are many people who need your help. Help those that felt as I did: Alone and Afraid.
As Humans, by far, the thing we are most afraid of is death: when we and others cease to be. Please comfort those surrounded by death. Help them to see that death is actually a gift. For they would no longer be stuck in this corrupt world. To arrive in Heaven is greater than any pleasure on earth. Help them realise that truth
May your will be done, Lord God. May we stay loyal and keep your commandments.