Father, I like to be unique and different. You know this.
I withdraw and isolate myself from others often and in a way I don’t want to belong, because I’m afraid I’d lose my identity if I did.
I think I need to accept the truth: I can still be unique and different even when I belong somewhere.
I feel alot of distance from others and at times I will accept that I do not belong and furthermore not try to. Though really, I do belong! I might be weird and shy and enjoy sadness but – I am someone you created and I am not a mistake. You make no mistakes, so certainly I cannot be one.
Twentieth of January, Two Thousand and Two
Father, how do I persevere? How can I keep going when there are so many doubts? I am experiencing a trial and I’m sure it is part of your plan but I can’t help but feel frustrated and alone. I know who I am but I struggle to deflect the accusations of the proud.
I used to ask “How do I change one’s mind?”. Now I know that there isn’t a way, I cannot change someone’s mind. I cannot soften or harden their hearts as you do, you are in power- not me. So I ask you, as I try again: please soften their hearts and give me a chance. The scowls of judgement stare me down and I am afraid. I cannot erase those scowls, so please Father… erase them for me.
Just as there are many doubts in my mind; there are many people who need your help. Help those that felt as I did: Alone and Afraid.
As Humans, by far, the thing we are most afraid of is death: when we and others cease to be. Please comfort those surrounded by death. Help them to see that death is actually a gift. For they would no longer be stuck in this corrupt world. To arrive in Heaven is greater than any pleasure on earth. Help them realise that truth
May your will be done, Lord God. May we stay loyal and keep your commandments.
Sixth of January, Two Thousand and Twenty
Father, I open this prayer with thanks for your guidance and assurance.
When I worry and feel that the world is ending again – you come through and calm me down. As I sit here I recall the times I have let you down and with those times in mind – I am sorry Father. Thank you for your mercy on me and the entire human race. We behave so poorly with our little evil hearts. In my opinion, you should destroy us for we don’t deserve anything you give us. I am happy to die whenever you may will it- if it’s in 60 years; I will live till then. If it’s tommorow; I will breathe till then.
For now, be with me, be with me as I read your words; as I read your story. Praise God, for we are here despite our faults.
I have been given a second chance, so please: help me to live the life you have prepared for me. Amen.
Thank you for reading,