I’m the kind of person who ____

Would rather go to a pub for the elderly than a disco.

Would rather listen to beautiful music rather than motivational music.

Dresses like they’re poor.

Pursues authenticity at every chance.

Imagines terrible scenarios that end up not happening.

Is their own enemy

Denies they have a ginger beard.

Prioritises escapism.

Thinks more, does less.

Is intrigued by the duality of Good and Evil.

Feels happier in the presence of animals.

Feels alone in the presence of others.

Questions everything.

Never stops thinking.

Is deeply emotional.

Avoids looking in the mirror.

Loves crying.

Deflects compliments (mostly)

Is obsessed with chasing perfection.

Thinks perfection is achievable, yet also thinks it is not.

Reads half a book then waits 2 months to read it again.

Full of excuses.

Is loved.

Is hard on himself and easy on others.

Wanted to get married at 5 years old

Smiles with warmth.

Misses chances.

Fails.

Wins sometimes.

Has low energy levels.

Hates being controlled.

Wishes they could fix everything.

Feels responsible for things he isn’t responsible for.

Is called Lewis Sandilands

Is taller than he was,

Smarter than he was,

More than he was.


This was quite therapeutic.

Thanks for reading, God Bless.


Yours,

Lew


Photo by Ben Sweet on Unsplash

Moods

Moods are strange, very strange in my experience, I can’t quite grasp them.


As I’m writing this, I have many thoughts about how lackluster I may be, how boring my writing looks, even when it looked fine yesterday.


This isn’t an informative post so I won’t bother listing all the mood disorders. I will list the absolute shitty things in life though. Like, thinking you’re okay when you realise 4 seconds later you’re not. The most debilitating thing for me, is when I lose control, when my thoughts seem almost hostile, like they’re out to get me. Like proton torpedoes homing in on Anakin Skywalker when he’s piloting his star-fighter. Yet, they are my thoughts. Why would someone attack themselves? Why would someone kill themselves?

Escape.

“If you can’t control, maybe you should escape”

Says the animal mind.

Killing yourself isn’t really escaping though, right? Anakin dodges them and continues fighting the good fight, he doesn’t kill himself. It’s kinda more like being caught. Being caught by all those hostile thoughts/torpedoes homing in, and no longer existing.

Reading through the Tao Te Ching, a collection of Chinese philosophical poems and verses about The Way, it’s a very old book.

I realised something, Humans aren’t mindful compared to Animals, and we’re straying further from being mindful. Especially with all these technological things around us, technology is made by nature since.. we are nature birthed by it.. right? I’m not sure.

When I say that “Humans aren’t mindful compared to Animals”
I mean that there’s something animals naturally grasp better than us, Mindfulness.

Example:
A squirrel stores nuts for the winter.

Does the squirrel plan this out? Does the squirrel write down their plan, then when the day comes they act it out? No. They JUST DO IT. Acting. They just act. Naturally. Not forcefully. Naturally. It’s amazing, It’s why I admire animals so much.

They can find peace so easily it seems, but animals do have their troubles as well. Just as we do.

This is my first ever post. I hope you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it.


Take Care Readers,

Lewis


Photo by whereslugo on Unsplash